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Goals, Safety Nets and Confidence

bridge, forest, hanging bridge

Last time you heard from me I mentioned walking is a tool I’ve learned to use when I’m triggered.  Last weekend, I remembered WHY I love walking.

Have you ever opened the ole browser and starting typing: how to be confident, how to look confident, how to build confidence?

No, just me?

Have you ever noticed someone’s confidence and wondered how they became that way? Is it a gene, something inherited, good parenting, skillset…what the heck is it? They have it, you want it, but it seems so out of reach.

Let me save you some time, you can become more confident easier and quicker than you imagined. Grab a pen this is going to be good; you’ll want to take notes.

Step 1: Create a goal that matters a great deal to you. One that will take a lot of effort but you know you can achieve.

Step 2: Create a plan of attack. Be specific and deliberate.

Step 3: Stick to your plan of attack until the results of your goal are clear as day.

Gotcha! The pen wasn’t necessary. In all seriousness, I am confident…now. I have the guts to write a blog and expect people to read and love it. Self-doubt isn’t hindering me from delivering my message to you…anymore.

In my personal experience, becoming and maintaining confidence has a lot to do with making and keeping promises to yourself. There’s a lot of other self-development that goes on and usually at the same time, but I said quick and easy so goal it is.

A long, long time ago (2 ½ to be precise) I set out to make some major moves. I don’t want to say “reinvent myself” but hardly anything is the same so I’m saying it. I made the decision I wasn’t going to let life happen to me, I was going to create the vision my heart held for my life.

I had dabbled here and there but never believed I could have the life I dreamt for myself. Spoiler alert, I can, I do, and the dreams don’t stop they get clearer.

Where did I start, well I started with something that I knew would be hard yet achievable. I’d get tangible results. And so, the decision to wake up and hit the gym every morning was made. It wasn’t easy. I shared the news with my then-boyfriend and kiddos. This was my new routine and I’m doing it so you’re going to have to step up you’re game each morning, momma won’t be here.

To set myself up for success I would pack my gym bag with my shower gear and what I’d wear to work. I’d place my work out clothes and shoes on top. When the alarm went off my eyes connected with the gym bag. Either I got out of bed, into the car, and onto the elliptical or I didn’t. Making the choice not to follow through meant that I’d have to unpack my bag and get dressed at home. It also resulted in being asked by my family why I was still home.

Talk about accountability!

I realized that I needed to come up plan, not a way out but a safety net. There would be some day’s life would get in the way or my will power would fail me. I needed a second chance to keep a promise to myself. So, one morning when asked by a co-worker where my gym bag was, I said I’ve decided to take a walk today instead. And so I did.

It was love at first step.

Clearly this wasn’t the first time I had gone for a walk but this was different because this walk felt different. It was a second chance to prove to myself that this goal mattered to me. Even when I gave in earlier that day I was not giving up. I didn’t feel ashamed, I felt proud. Proud that even though I let myself down, I had a plan B and I used it.

And on that day a tool was born. Walking feels like therapy, self-coaching, spiritual awakening, fuel for my fire.

Proving to yourself that you can get results is to me, the best way to become confident. It’s immediate. Once you start achieving goals, dreaming becomes easier and you set new goals. This isn’t a bunch of fluff, I am legit living a dream right now only it’s now actually my life. I can open my notebooks and read to you what I dreamt for my life and it matches almost to a T. Only better.

I don’t know what your dreams are yet, but I believe in them and I believe in you. Just because you do not exude confidence now doesn’t mean you cannot become the MOST confident person in the room. You are worthy of the beautiful vision your heart carriers for your life. You are capable of creating the life you dream for yourself. It will not be easy. Expect to let yourself down from time to time and be prepared with a safety net.  I’m here to support you, cheer for you, and encourage you as you go after it.

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