I just sent someone my very first guest blog post. The topic: Imposture Syndrome. Take a wild guess what I have a mild case of right now! You guessed it, queue the dramatic music…
Here’s what I’m up against: What if this isn’t what they wanted, what if they don’t like it, what if they don’t publish it, why hasn’t she responded, what if they want me to change it, what if it’s too long…
Basically, ALL the “what if’s”.
Shoot, I know I’m not alone. Even the strongest, most courageous people come face to face with imposture syndrome from time to time. My guess is you’ve faced off with this little sucker as well. What it feels like for me is from being on fire, basically killing it to feeling like a flipping fraud and completely unsure of myself.
I personally think this happens most often when we’re on the brink of something amazing, something transformational, something SCARY, new, and unfamiliar.
So, here’s why you need to learn how to recognize and fight it. FEAR. In some cases, fear is a good thing. Healthy fear protects us but can do a lot of unnecessary protecting if we’re not paying attention. You can literally talk yourself out doing the very things that support your dreams and goals the most – if you don’t tune in when you start feeling it come on.
I can’t help but wonder, what “what if’s” are stopping you right now?
Here are a couple questions to ask yourself next time you hesitate or start talking yourself out of doing something you want or worked hard for.
- Will your failure to take-action keep you safe or comfortable and do you know the difference?
- Are you qualified and what or who qualifies you?
- What are you afraid of, what is the worst-case scenario?
- What will you gain by taking action, and what will you miss out on if you don’t?
I reflect on these questions a lot lately.
About a month ago I called some BIG shots. I announced an end of year goal to a few friend and accountability partners. The goal: to be a guest on someone’s podcast, blog, webinar or live on social media. This matters because I’m still in the very early stages of building my online biz.
By doing this I would potentially gain exposure which is exactly what I need most right now. So why is typing up a blog post for someone else’s audience causing such an internal uproar? Doing this gives me exposure and exposure, exposes!
Exposure makes me vulnerable and even though I pride myself on my ability to BE vulnerable, it still scares me.
You didn’t think these type of struggles just disappear right?
Not only do I still experience self-doubt like all the other humans, I also tend to over analyze… So I’m pretty much imagining every possible outcome – most of them terrible, most of which NEVER happens. But if they did, I’d figure it out and keep moving.
Here’s where things start to turn around. I can snap out of it quicker then ever.
Confidence allows me to do things that terrify me. Confidence and courage give me the strength to stand up to imposture syndrome and fear. The quickest way for me to build confidence and display courage in the area of exposure was to set a goal attached to that fear, accomplish it, and keep moving.
So, I set the goal, wrote it out, made myself accountable and I kid you not, a week or two later an opportunity presented itself… Someone was looking for life coaches to do guest blogs on their website.
We truly get what we ask for. I put myself out there, asked for the opportunity, was given the opportunity, celebrated, freaked the heck out and then…knocked it out of the park.
I challenge you to do the same. Nothing too extreme, just set and achieve a goal.
Here are some simple guidelines for your goal:
- The goal needs to be attached to a dream that scares you a little. Make it a goal that will inch you closer to that dream.
- The goal needs to require WORK. Achieving something while twiddling your thumbs won’t get you any closer to confident nor will it require you to harness your courage. I want you to have to work for this, it’s all about proving yourself to yourself.
- Create a plan to achieve this goal. I personally list out ALL the things I will accomplish or do before I actually achieve the goal then map out 2 or 3 clear milestones. Once I have the milestones on paper, I list all the steps that get me to each. If you’re stuck, Rachel Hollis has a great approach and I use it myself.
- Share your goal with someone in your circle or community and ask for accountability.
When you celebrate this accomplishment, remember what it felt like just starting out. You just did the damn thing and you’ll keep doing it.
This is a small but big step in building confidence and kicking imposture booty. Like always, I want to hear all the things! All about your dreams, your goals, your challenges and your triumphs.
Your Coach – Amy