Feeling like a failure because your “stuck” and not making the progress you hoped for?
Take a deep breath and exhale. I have stood in your shoes and know how it feels to be overwhelmed and defeated. You start off determined and the momentum starts building. You feel confident and strong, the birds are singing when BAM – your hit. Someone or something takes the wind out of your sails…again.
You’re brought back to that place you started. Before you trusted in yourself; before you had a shift in mindset; before you even knew or allowed the dream. Depending on where you are in your journey, this can bring you to your knees.
Does this sound a little dramatic? Good, that’s how feelings work, it would appear your emotions are working as they should. Now that we have this settled, get up. This is part of your new normal.
You aren’t going to like hearing this part: you’re going to be thrown off your game a lot. Basically, get prepared to feel awful about 50% of the time. As a matter of fact, yesterday as I was writing up this message I was interrupted. Rude right? Bombarded by questions I didn’t respond in a very kind way. That resulted in my being told a hard truth about some of my less than desirable traits in a harsh way. It hurt. I was mad and ashamed; I was undone to be honest. For a moment I questioned myself and my ability, I began to question my worth.
If you have ever dealt with trauma at the hands of another you understand the power of words. They can trigger thoughts, feelings and memories that jolt you back into those moments. Even someone healed can stumble.
Sound familiar? Here’s the good news: A bad day does not mean abandon ship. A bad day or a hard moment is an opportunity.
Back to me (selfish coach right). I had a choice: stew and become bitter, punish myself and my Mr., or do something that supports who I am today. Overtime and along my journey I’ve learned what I need in moments like these, a way to put things back into perspective. So, I put my shoes on, threw on a sweatshirt, grabbed my headphones, turned on a podcast, and took a walk.
As I walked it seemed people knew I was angry. As if they made a conscious decision to stare me down with cheerful eyes and a smile. One of them even dared speak to me. Not just a friendly hello, it was followed up with a “God Bless” which of course resulted in a sincere smile.
With each step, I became more self-aware. What started as an option other than saying something I’d regret, ended in my realizing I was in the wrong and knowing exactly why. By doing what was necessary to clear my head and think before I reacted; I was gifted perspective, understanding, and forgiveness.
I am not the type of person who will tell or teach you to “just think positive” That type of advice is total BS and dangerous so if you’re getting it from someone, run. I’m the girl who will challenge you to feel all the feelings and teach you how to recognize the thoughts behind them. This means I’m also not the type of coach who will encourage you to control your thoughts. Resistance is one of the worse things we can do to our growth, dreams, and goals. We just need to understand them.
This knowledge, my sweet friend – is power.
I’m hitting you with a classic you’ve likely heard before. Thoughts ignite feelings, feelings influence action, and our actions create our results. All that other stuff, the good bad and ugly – the circumstance, just is.
Knowing this is freeing. Applying this truth is life-changing.
You are not a prisoner to your thoughts, feelings, circumstance, or past. Roots change. You are capable, worthy, and deserving of the great big beautiful life you desire. I’m a woman who has stood in your shoes and learned this first-hand.
My role is to provide you with tools, truths, accountability, and perspective so that you achieve progress and get results.