Episode 76. One Goal At A Time.

Brace yourself! Today’s episode is going to be a bit of a challenge. Not what I planned to talk about this week, but here we are… episode 76 of the roots change podcast!

Get ready. It’s about to get real. 

Well friends, I just got out of a quick pep talk from a coach that I’m working with. She comes into her community every Monday and gives us a quick swift kick in the butt and today was exactly what I needed & I had no idea I needed it. 

I’m going to pass her love onto all of you. Take it if it works, leave it if it doesn’t.

There is one thing I think we all can agree on when it comes to our own growth when it comes to creating change for ourselves. Especially when we are in transit. When we’re like waist-deep in trauma healing. When we have recently just got out of that really damaging, dangerous relationship. When we have just started to actually believe in ourselves, we get excited.  We want to make all types of changes. We want to do all of the things. We want to have a new morning routine. We’re going to work on our mindset. We’re going to learn how to rebuild a healthy self-concept. We’re going to love ourselves. 

Well, guess what happens when we do all the things all at once.!?

We burn out. It becomes a bit too much. 

When we try to do everything all at once, it’s hard to do anything well. It took me a really long time to get behind that belief. Behind that statement. Because I don’t know about you, but I was raised that when we want something, we work hard at it. Well, I was conditioned into the hustle culture. And so earlier on in my personal growth journey, I took on this approach as I’m going to fix everything all at once.

First of all, we’re not fixing anything, we are healing ourselves. 

We’re not broken. We are whole, and we always have been, we are just disconnected a bit. And so when I started to really work towards my own personal growth and transformation, I did everything all at once. It got very overwhelming and was a bit counterproductive. It increased anxiety and I already had a shit ton of anxiety. It led to negative self-talk even though I was working on my mindset. It was just really hard to do everything all at once and I really had to take a step back and choose areas to focus on. And when I started to feel that I was solid. When I started to build a foundation that supported my growth, then I would move forward on something else. 

And I have taken that approach into my business as well, but not at first, because as we all know… oh, old habits die hard, right? 

Oh my God. I’ve been coaching for two years. In my first year as a coach, I went hard. I mean, I went so hard. I learned how to start an online business. I got my coaching certification. I started a podcast. I ran my first 10 people through coaching for free. I made a coaching program. I put three people through that program. I had my first couple of paying clients. The whole time I’m doing, doing, doing, doing. I’m also feeling so overwhelmed and not taking care of myself, how I wanted. I was so wrapped up in achieving everything all at once that I wasn’t listening to what my body was actually telling me I needed and what I needed. 

Which was to slow down. I was to process. 

And do a little bit more healing. Business and personal growth might as well be the same thing. They like… Everything you think you work through comes back up when you are building a business. I wish somebody would come tell me I’m wrong. I’m not.  I was still early in my healing journey. I still am.

It’s been seven years and I still feel like I’m early in my healing journey. The greater part of my life was Amy hurting. So “healing” Amy has only been going on for just a little bit of a bleep. And it’s never going to end. Some wounds might never heal. And I’m sure the further along I go,  the more life experiences I have, the more layers I will uncover. And that is just fine. 

So when things all came to a head, it was about this time, last year. I created a community outside of social media. It was a free community and the intent was to switch it to a paid membership. I had invited in, I think about 35, 40 founding members. And I did not get the results I wanted. That was a really great number of people to sign on. But my engagement wasn’t what I hoped. And because I still had some healing to do I let it mean something about me personally. I let it mean that I’m not good enough. … who am I to start something like this? Who am I to coach people? Who am I to mentor? Who am I to organize and keep a community alive? Who am I to build a thriving community? 

It didn’t work. 

It got so bad that my body, my nervous system was so activated, that I had to completely step aside. I had to put it down. 

Because I wasn’t listening to the signals my body was sending me because I didn’t even know that I should. I was operating from my mind my whole life up until then. Because I didn’t recognize the cues my body was sending me, I was like strung out. I was having like a nervous breakdown. I was regressing. I was starting to beat myself up about stuff that I had no business bringing into my business. 

So, what does any of this have to do with how I started today’s podcast? What’s the big, the big deal in all of this,? 

Today I was challenged to look at the calendar a hundred days from tomorrow, from today if you’re listening to this on Tuesday, and decide that by this date in a hundred days, I’m going to have achieved this. 

I set a goal. A tangible goal. A goal with a lot of umf packed behind it. You don’t know this unless you are close to me but the community is coming back. That dream has not left me. That is something that is so aligned with my life purpose I can’t let it go. Even if I want to. There’s that thing inside of me that keeps nudging me towards it. 

I have spent the last year healing and learning how trauma works in my body. Learning how to regulate my nervous system. I was learning how to be confident enough to talk to the people who actually want to join me there. It was a whole process and I  needed that. 

And now I’m just about there guys. I’m just about ready. 

So today when my coach invited us to set a meaty goal for the end of the year… like doesn’t matter what you’ve done up until now…. doesn’t matter what goals you set for yourself at the beginning of 2022. What do you want now? What do you want to have achieved by the end of 2022? 

Right here right now. 

For me, it’s to have 15 members in the Roots Change growth community. This is a paid membership. This is a big deal. This made my throat start to close up. I  think I was the first one to claim their shit on that. Call. I was like, I’m ready. This is what it is.

Holy shit did I need this! I’m excited and then immediately after my throat starts to get all weird. You can hear it right now.  My nervous system is activated right now AND I’m excited. And I feel aligned to this END if feels like it is a sole purpose AND also it’s really fucking scary. 

I’ve done this before. It didn’t work out. I don’t know what I’m doing, how am I supposed to make this work? Why would you want to join me here? This is what it’s like. This is what personal growth is like. This is what dealing with our shit is like.

It doesn’t go away we get better at dealing with it. 

Our brain is always going to do its job. Our body is always going to do its job. It’s going to protect us. It’s going to want to keep us comfortable. And it’s our job to continue to build that window of tolerance. 

So, what is that thing going to be for you?

Have you spent some of this year, I don’t know how long you’ve been on your journey. I don’t know where I’m finding you today, but I know this. If you’re listening to this podcast, personal growth is really fucking important to you or you wouldn’t be listening. This is a personal growth podcast. This is real people talking about real Transformation and the stuff that we actually have to work through. 

I’m not at the other end yet. Like I’m still on this road. I’m not pretending to be somebody who I’m not. And I know you’re not either. So no matter where I find you today, I know that there is something in your heart… I know there is something, some type of meaningful change that you would like to create for yourself. And you can. I’m inviting you to claim it right here right now. 

It doesn’t have to be a goal like mine. It doesn’t have to have a number attached to it, but it can. It can be anything you want it to be. I’m inviting you just to choose one thing to focus on for the rest of the year. So that… You know, For me it’s December 21st. That’s my goal. It can be yours. But by the end of that time, you can look at yourself and feel proud. 

You can follow through for yourself and build belief… build confidence. And go into 2023 like, yeah, I got this. I know I’m scared. I know it’s going to be hard. I know my mind and body are going to try to protect me from doing the things, but I got this. I’ve already proven to myself I can. 

That’s what I’m inviting you to do. It doesn’t matter what it is. Whatever you feel in your heart right now, that’s probably it. Whatever that thing is. 

So I’m inviting you to take a few minutes. when this podcast ends ask yourself what you want to achieve by the end of this year. Forget what you said in January! 

Throw that shit out the window if it hasn’t happened and you’re beating yourself up about it. Maybe you don’t even want it anymore, but if you do… be real with yourself. Take a few minutes. Give it a little think. If you want to create all the change, if you just want to change everything all at once, I’m going to invite you to NOT and ask you to focus on one area of growth. What’s one thing if you work on this, it’s gonna open you up to so much more. 

Maybe it’s self-care. Maybe it’s self-love. Maybe it’s mindset, maybe it’s managing your mind. Maybe it’s learning how to regulate your nervous system. Maybe you’re working on fitness. It can be anything! Maybe it is getting a new job. Maybe it’s getting a promotion. Maybe it’s starting a business. 

I want to hear what it is that you want to have achieved by the end of 2022. I hope you share it with me. I think that’s like an extra level of bravery to share it with other people. And I also believe that it helps you to manifest it and it helps you to be accountable to it. This is all part of the process and I’m inviting you; I’m not your coach and I am inviting you to allow me into your corner…  AND Hold space for you…AND  encourage you. 

I’ve let you know what my big goal is. 

When I’m ready, I hope you meet me there. I hope I’m welcoming you in. But even if you’re not, I’m going to keep going and I’m going to keep growing. And so are you.

Roots change, with every choice we make. 

Until the next time you are loved, you are worthy, and you can achieve anything.